Teaching about gender roles feels very out of step with our current culture. Suggesting there is any difference between men and women worked out in roles and impacting aspirations for careers and accomplishments is often assumed to be coming from patriarchal views of a former time when humanity was less enlightened than we are now. Many look with distrust upon our forebears and often blame, rightly and not so rightly, their systems of thought for fostering problems like abuse. The finger of blame is often pointed at Christianity for the teaching in Scripture of gender roles. The Bible is seen as a source of patriarchy because it designates husbands to a headship role with respect to their wives. In truth, the abuse of power has happened in all times and places and cultures irrespective of religious heritage.
What is patriarchy? Here’s how two authors, Johnnetta Betsch Cole and Beverly Guy-Sheftali describe patriarchy and its results: “The problem with patriarchy, which is based on male superiority and supremacy, is that is comes at the expense of women, children and ultimately, other men. The notion of the man as the one, true king of the house, head of the family, and leader in the community turns our homes and neighborhoods into hostile territories. … Domestic violence is often triggered when a man with this false sense of power feels threatened or challenged and moves to regain a sense of control through beating, raping, or berating his partner and/or children….The only cure for fractured families and hostile gender relations is a new model of partnerships in which we work together rather than against one another.” (Gender Talk: The Struggle for Women’s Equality in African American Communities, pp. 217-218)
If the above is patriarchy, we do not believe biblical gender roles within marriage and the church are patriarchy. We don’t believe the Scriptures to be expressing “male superiority.” To the contrary, we have written extensively on the equality between men and women emphasized in Scripture (For example, see Gender Roles in Balance with Biblical Equality). God did not establish roles that would be at the expense of all of his creatures. Nowhere in Scripture does “head of the wife” equal “king.” However, in our sinfulness as humans, we are capable of ruining all that God has created. We are capable of distorting His teaching so that He is dishonored and people are harmed. That means that even if the Scripture is written truth, people, including Christians, have sometimes misunderstood gender roles in the harmful way these authors describe. Because they have done this and will continue to do it again, should we stop teaching biblical gender roles?
When I see how often women and children are harmed by a distortion of God’s design for gender roles within the family and the church, I too am tempted to agree with the authors of Gender Talk that abandonment of gender roles is the surest way to safety. I deeply appreciate the truth telling spirit of these knowledgeable women. I agree with them about exposing the long hidden abuse of women within all communities It is particularly important for the church to have a spirit of humility, honesty and correction. I am so grieved that women are harmed by misapplications of biblical roles, and that abusive or negligent men can take shelter by urging their wives to submissively endure. How could God allow the biblical teaching to be interpreted and applied in these ways? I think to myself, “God, you enabled this to happen. You knew men would co-opt your teaching to justify horrible behavior.” We humans are the sinners who do the damage, but I am tempted to blame God.
But then I start to think about who God is. My reasoning goes something like this: I think if God is God, then He knew ahead of time how His teaching could be misused. He knew sinful men would utilize Genesis and Peter and Paul’s teaching about submission of wives to husbands to oppress women. Not only is God all knowing, but He cares about the suffering of any of his creatures at the hands of those in power. The physical, spiritual and emotional harm experienced by women and children throughout the ancient and modern worlds is very, very important to God.
Ruth and I believe that God is a good God, who loves his creatures and desires for all of us to flourish. Scripture teaches that He knows better than we do what is good for His children. He accomplishes all that He purposes to do. I believe His Scriptures were written under careful guidance of the Holy Spirit and are a sure guide for faith and practice for all time. If God created a structure for gender roles, knowing how it could be misused, He must have cared for what he created, enough to take that chance. What is it that He wants us to get from gender roles? For starters, I believe roles fundamentally reflect something in God Himself, which He values deeply. I also believe gender roles teach us something crucial about how to relate to God as well as how to relate to one another. By trusting and obeying His Word, we believe families can flourish. Discarding His instructions is a dangerous choice.
We will be writing on various passages in upcoming weeks to further explain what we mean. I conclude today with the ultimate model for Christian manhood and womanhood – Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ did not live to please Himself, but gave Himself up (Romans 15:3). As Head of the Church, He leads us, and we submit to Him. His leadership is carried out in love and self-sacrifice (Ephesians 5:22-33). All human headship is to take its cues from Jesus (Philippians 2:1-11). I know many of you may have heard this before and it may sound trite. But if we replace this truth with an arrangement we think will work better, we make ourselves out to be God, rather than to be the people He has created.