I had different plans for my next post. But I am struggling with lethargy during these weeks in quarantine. So I procrastinated. . . and then last week a bunch of things happened. Chief among them was the emergence on public media of a video of the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. The video has led to the arrest of the two White men, apparently two church-going men, more than two months after the shooting.
I would not have seen this news until a couple of days later had my co-worker, Brenaea, not brought it to my attention. Brenaea is the first (and at present only) Black staff member (Princeton Christian Fellowship) and she is patiently, lovingly, walking the rest of the staff through weekly conversations about race. It is exhausting work for her. For our part, all of us are reading and listening, and not walking away, so that she does not have to do all the work for us. But it is hard work for her, and I love her for taking it on, and continuing to treat us as sisters and brothers all the way.
This killing reminds me of Trayvon Martin’s slaying, because Martin was in a White neighborhood just walking home from the store when a private citizen took it upon himself to apprehend him. Arbery was jogging in a White neighborhood and two White citizens took it upon themselves to apprehend him, allegedly suspecting him of burglary.
When George Zimmerman was acquitted of Martin’s murder, I was clueless. I hadn’t heard or read anything about it. A dear Black Christian friend was due to come over to my house that day for lunch. Unbeknownst to me, Ashley almost decided not to come because she was afraid to be in a White household on a day when she was grieving. But she did come, and that day she opened my eyes to begin to see. I am so grateful to her for her patience and courage that day. She gave me my first reading list for waking up to the realities of racial injustice in America.
Last Sunday morning, Bill and I listened to Pastor Eric Mason preach at Epiphany Church in Philadelphia. We have heard him before and respect him highly. We were introduced to him by our dear sister and brother, Ruth and Nyron Burke. Ruth and Nyron were students in the ministry of the Princeton Christian Fellowship, and have remained in our lives as close friends. Ruth and Nyron have spoken plainly over the years to us about the racism they experience in their lives. They have taught us gently that the problems are real, resisting our tendency to find some other explanation for whatever happened. Sure, there are complex circumstances that concoct a deadly mix on a particular day in a particular place, but race is a huge component of the mix.
These dear friends and many others have turned up the volume and sharpened the focus of the woefully vague concerns I had about current events. This is one of the valuable byproducts of multi-ethnic churches and friendships. Pastor Mason said in his sermon that it isn’t enough to want to have multi-ethnic churches so that we can all rejoice that the Church on Earth resembles the Church in Heaven. Truly that is a beautiful thing. But what now motivates my desire to attend a multi-ethnic church is also the awareness it opens up to needs and injustices and ways to help from which I would otherwise be sheltered. I don’t want to be blissfully unaware of these tragedies. I want to sit under the conviction of injustice. And I want to humbly receive teaching on what to do. But I fear that I might never have listened and understood anything without the personal voices of Christian friends testifying face to face of their experiences of racism.
I hesitate to post this because I feel like I may appear to be posing as a person who understands and is adept at racial dialogue. I write about this now because it matters to Christians of color that their White brothers and sisters do not remain silent as these tragic events occur. I am not confident that I am even remotely competent, so if you read this, or read occasional things I share on Facebook, know that I am a baby learning to take my first steps in this battle. Next post I will resume blogging about women and men, because I am under God’s conviction about gender and worth and have studied that issue a lot. I believe our sinful attitudes about race and human worth, as with sinful attitudes about gender, are opposed to God’s kingdom values and need to be yielded to Him for transformation. What small expertise I have is primarily focused on women and our worth in God’s Kingdom. However, I am not satisfied with myself and I am not walking away from racial injustice, having checked the box that I did my duty. I am praying and equipping myself to be more skilled to speak up on race, sitting under the teaching of my wise brothers and sisters.