Verses from James 1
19 My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,20 for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.
26 If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, his religion is useless and he deceives himself.
Those of you who know me personally know that I am a talkative person. Some of you also know that I have struggled with anger all of my life. I have often said I was born angry. Angry and talkative. That is not a good combination according to James, if you want to be “religious.” Anger and talking about my thoughts and feelings honestly both feel like they are an integral part of the authentic me.
Authenticity seems to be in style these days. Blogs, Tweets and Facebook posts seem to foster angry, honest, “authentic” venting. I read a lot of this venting, because it comes into my Facebook feed. Twenty years ago, I would have fired off many public retorts. I was quick to say “I disagree.” More recently I have tried hard to practice being “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.” Those of you who know me know that I am a “work in progress” and that this continues to be very hard for me.
A major turning point for me came when I had the wonderful privilege of sitting under the teaching of David Powlison of CCEF (Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) for several courses when I attended Westminster Seminary in Philadelphia. Powlison taught a course entitled “Counseling and Secular Psychology.” He often repeated a question he would ask as he critiqued a school or particular scholar of psychology, “What does this person see clearly and care about deeply?” Then he would gently tell us what he could discern of the motivations and concerns of a particular school of thought, even though he believed there were many flaws in both their diagnosis of human problems and their prescription for therapy. He showed us that we could learn something from their viewpoint that perhaps we had never seen before, a need they perceived to which we had been insensitive. He taught me a new paradigm for listening: I can learn something important even from my opponents. In fact, I must. I must listen and learn.
In the last 10 years, I have focused a lot of my reading on perspectives with which I anticipate I will disagree. I read a lot of posts on Facebook about race and politics from varied perspectives. For 30 plus years I have read many books on the roles of women and men. When I started reading, I mostly read from what is called the “complementarian” perspective. Now I am more likely to read books from the “egalitarian” perspective. Simply put, complementarians believe the Bible teaches different and complementary roles for men and women, and egalitarians believe the Bible makes no distinction between the roles of men and women. I am still a complementarian, but I have been greatly blessed by what egalitarians and feminists “see clearly and care about deeply.” I have also seen from my reading that the two perspectives share much in common. In the next few weeks, my blog posts will focus on women and men, applying some of what I have learned from reading the Bible and diverse perspectives. Listening has helped and changed me.
I originally called this post “Free Speech, Part 2.” In my post “Free Speech?” I wrote about the need for Christians to exercise care in our speech. I had a follow-up conversation with a dear brother encouraging me to press further. How we speak to one another in our Christian communities is important. He emphasized to me that how we speak as Christians in the public sphere is a means of being salt and light in our needy world.
We also discussed the immense power for good or for evil of our words. James says in his third chapter that our tongues are flames that can start destructive fires (James 3:5). Proverbs speaks of the enormous encouragement from a word of wisdom (Proverbs 12:18, 18:21). The message of salvation by grace through faith in Jesus powerfully gives the opportunity for saving faith to those who have not heard the gospel (Romans 10:14). Words convey wisdom, by which society can be guided.
Speech is powerful, but first, we must listen intently. If we listen, our speech will be much more effective. It will be more loving, respectful and true. The perspectives of others are necessary for us to hear. By God’s grace, we can be salt and light in the world, listening carefully and speaking truth, gently and powerfully.